Announcing October’s Winning Entry:
How do you keep Irene in suspense?
Terry Hall
And now for the rest of the entries:
A pirate walks into a bar and has a steering wheel in his pants.
The bartender says, “Hey man, you have a steering wheel in your pants.”
And the pirate says, “Argggg and it’s driving me nuts!”
Mike Wright
Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet.
A: He was looking for Winnie the Pooh
The Beaver Family was involved in divorce court and battling for custody of Little Beaver. Finally, the judge calls Little Beaver to the the stand. Asking if Little Beaver wanted to live with Daddy Beaver, Little Beaver replied, “Oh no, he beats me.” The judge taken a little aback, asked, “Do you want to live with Mommy Beaver?” Little Beaver replied, “Oh no, she beats me even worse than Daddy Beaver.” “Well,” the exasperated judge says, “Who do you want to live with?” “I want to live with the Oregon State Beavers. They don’t beat anyone.”
Drew Matthews
Q: How do you confuse a dufus?
A: Put him in a circular room and tell him to sit in the corner?
Taylor Salter
Two pieces of string go into a bar for a drink. One sits at the bar and the goes to the bathroom. The bartender says, “I’m sorry. We don’t serve strings.”
The other string hears this and tossles his hair. He comes out and sits down, orders a drink. The bartender says, “No drinks served to string.”
The string says, “I’m a frayed knot.”
Suzanne Haueman
Q: Do you know why they call it PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Author Unknown | Presumed Dead
Do you know how to keep Irene in suspense?
Terry Wall
Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a computer?
A: A Harry Reasoner
Brian, your USA Gold Cig Rep
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8 (ate), 9.
Brenda Geyer
You know how we’ve been outsourcing telephone jobs, so when you get your washing machine fixed you get some guy in Mongolia who knows three words of English? Well, in India there’s a man who would like that job. First, he learns English, and then he has to take a proficiency test. One of the questions on the test goes like this:
Put these three words into a sentence: green, yellow, pink.
The man thinks for awhile, and then writes: Der phone goes “green, green, green,” and I pink it up, and I say “yellow”!
Amanda Holbo
Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A bucaneer (buck an ear)
Victoria Lawton-Diez
Q: What did the dish and the spoon refuse to eat on their honeymoon?
A: Cantalope
Ariana Johnson
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Q
Q who?
Fah Q!
Ian Wallin
About The Author:
