And this month’s winner is…
The Les Schwab Guys – Ashland
A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. The bartender says, “You’re welcome to stay but don’t start anything.”
And now for the other entries…
William Crowley
A little girl is sitting on her grandfather’s lap and asks:
“Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?”
“Sure I can, sweetie,” he replies, “but, you have to tell me WHY you want me to make a sound like a frog?”
She answers: “’Cause Grandma says when you croak, we’re all going to Disneyland.”
Scott
Why did the biker marry the outhouse instead of his old lady?
The line is shorter and the smell is better.
Steve
An Irishman has an appointment with a priest at 2:00pm. He can’t find a parking place. Finally, in desperation, he asks the Lord for a parking space and says he’ll quit drinking and go to church every Sunday. A parking place appears and he looks up and says “Nevermind, Father. I found one.”
Kristen
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
No one
No one who?
No one answers ’cause no one’s home
Gwen LaShonse
On trial for theft, Pat and Mike rejoiced to be found “not guilty.”
Then Pat asks the judge, “Does that mean we get to keep the money?”
Tom Streissguth
A man was sprawled out over several peaks on the main floor of a movie theater at the end of a show. He was moaning, seemed in pain and was also slightly “woozy drunk.” After several attempts, the manager could do nothing: decided to call in the police.
The policeman decided to use a bit of friendly psychology. He smiled as he shook the man’s limp hand. “How’re you doin’?”
Nothing
“You know the show is over, and the manager would like you to leave.”
Nothing.
“Okay. What’s your name?”
“Norm.”
“Well that’s great, Norm. Now, we’re getting somewhere. So, where you from Norm?”
“The balcony.”
Michael
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Shaylyn Potter
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A chili dog in a bun.
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