The cats need a break from all these legal disputes. Every time they look over the hedge and see Bowser, without a care in the world, playing with one of his toy bones, they think of all of their missed opportunities and frustrated plans. If they look to the house on the other side of […]
Bowser’s owner came over to pick up a key to the condo in Yachats. As a result of an accord and satisfaction reached by Bowser and the cats, Bowser was now a part owner of the condo, and Bowser was excited to be spending his first weekend in Yachats. During their negotiations, the cats had […]
On the advice of PeeWee, the little indoor cat next door, the cats consulted the Jack Rabbit’s attorney in Portland, who recommended that the cats attempt to settle with Bowser, who had obtained a default judgment against the cats. The only problem with this advice is that the cats don’t have any money, and they […]
While looking for a mislaid pair of gloves, I poked my head in the closet where the cats keep their toy box, and amid their battery powered mouse, toy bones stolen from Bowser, and some inappropriate photographs, I saw a crumpled sheath of papers that looked like a summons and complaint. Sure enough, the cats […]
The cats returned from their winter vacation in Mexico to find that they had been sued by Bowser for the $30,000, plus interest, seized by the bank from Bowser’s accounts in order to satisfy the cats’ loan that Bowser guaranteed. Bowser’s lawsuit alleges that the cats’ failure to make the loan payments and their using […]
Now the cats were in their element. They were going to use someone else’s money (PeeWee’s) and property (the Jackrabbit’s) to go into business. They just needed to borrow about $30,000 to meet their start up expenses, but without tax returns they would need a co-borrower to guarantee payment in order to get a loan […]
I was able to secure a release of the cats from the product liability claim asserted by the Jackrabbit and PeeWee for $20,000. This left the cats with $30,000 from the sale of their marijuana crop to Bowser. I suggested that they set aside $15,000 to pay the taxes that will be due on their […]
The Old Tom convinced Bowser that if he wanted to become older and wiser he needed to complete his purchase of the cats’ marijuana crop for the contract price. Bowser’s dispensary was now fully stocked with the marijuana acquired from the cats. His first customer was the jackrabbit, who had a medical marijuana card […]
The cats have a problem. In June they entered into a contract with Bowser, the dog next door who operates a dispensary, to sell their entire crop to him for seven hundred fifty dollars per pound. Due to the proliferation of grow sites in the valley, by the time that the trimmerants hired by the […]
The cats decided to live inside their fenced enclosure to help protect their crop. They enlisted the help of the Old Tom, their retired friend from the San Juans, to drag their beds and bowls and cat food inside the enclosure to make their temporary home more comfortable. The Old Tom was to prowl around […]
The cats have invited their retired friend, the Old Tom, to come down from his home in the San Juans to guard their marijuana crop. I remind them that he spends most of the day napping, and his snoring will tip off any thieves that he is asleep. They remind me that he tends to […]
The cats have asked me to lend them $20,000. They say that they want to buy a coffee cart to sell coffee and related items to tourists. I am a little suspicious about their intentions since they have been receiving brochures in the mail for greenhouses, bedding boxes, and grow lights. I tell them that […]
The cats want to plant a row of tomatoes in my vegetable garden. I asked why, since cats don’t eat tomatoes. With a deprecating look they informed me that birds peck at tomatoes. I slowly understood their plan and decided that I would outsmart them. I agreed as long as I could first put bells […]
The cats and I have decided that we would get along better if we had separate living quarters. We could still have meals and watch TV together, but with their own space we wouldn’t get on one another’s nerves. We decide to build an addition. I give them a budget of $45,000 and take out […]
I’ve had it with the cats. I cannot stay under the same roof with cats who will deceive me into signing a release under fraudulent pretenses. I have given them notice to vacate. They forwarded the notice to their San Francisco attorneys, who had just returned from a convention in New Orleans. Two weeks later […]
The cats have returned from their vacation in Mexico. They handed back my credit card and gave me a set of miniature, brightly colored salt and pepper shakers as a gift. They ask me how the sale of our book is going. Without answering, I ask them if they limited their use of my credit […]
The cats are vacationing in Mexico to recuperate from the stresses of the past year. I allowed them to purchase airline tickets using my MileagePlus account, and I have given them one of my credit cards to use while they are on vacation. They have promised that they will not charge more than $1,500 on […]
The cats have consulted a bankruptcy attorney and return home quite discouraged. Of their debts totaling $44,000, approximately $17,000 is not dischargeable. I tell the cats that an envelope has arrived from a law firm in Seattle, but they are reluctant to open it, fearing that it contains another demand for payment. I open it […]
The cats have been notified by their San Francisco attorneys that the funds in their asset protection LLC are exhausted and that their attorneys are owed $15,510 for their services. The cats asked me to review their attorneys’ accounting since their attorneys won’t take their calls. This is the accounting: 1/3 cost to purchase condo […]
The cats came to the conclusion that they would have to get inside Pee Wee’s house to take their revenge. They made a plan and set to work. The cats removed from their toy box one of Bowser’s bones that they had stolen and buried it among the prize peonies grown by Pee Wee’s owner. […]
Pee Wee’s owner thanked me for finding and returning Pee Wee’s collar. She didn’t understand how it came to be found in the street since Pee Wee is an indoor cat. Her owner was unaware that she had dropped Pee Wee’s new collar in her driveway when getting out of the car, which is where […]
I received a call on my iPhone from Pee Wee’s owner asking me if I had seen Pee Wee’s new pink collar. I assured her that I would keep an eye out for it and hung up the phone. Then I noticed that the cats were giving one another nervous glances. I took the call […]
by Allen Drescher I received a check from the cats’ San Francisco attorney drawn on the bank account of their asset protection LLC to reimburse me, as provided in their indemnification agreement, for the ten dollars that I paid for the damage they caused to Bowser’s water bowl in their failed attempt to punish him […]
The Old Tom was exhausted from his exertions in saving the cats from Bowser. The trip to Yachats had to be put off for another visit. My homeowner’s insurance company paid Bowser’s vet bills under my no fault medical coverage and then immediately cancelled my coverage for claims due to pets. I informed the cats […]
The cats have invited their retired friend, the Old Tom, who lives in the San Juans, to spend a weekend at our condo in Yachats. Because of the distance, he will fly from Seattle to Medford and spend the night at our house, and we will all drive to the coast the next day. I […]
I was successful in requiring the Shock-A-Dog company to honor the promise of its Oregon field agent to give the cats an exclusive distributorship for the Ashland-Talent area, and the cats have made a lot of money that they want to invest in a condo in Yachats, which they mispronounce and believe to be inhabited […]
The cats are worried. They invested their entire share of the profits from our publishing business in an application for a franchise to sell an invisible electric fence called, “Shock-A-Dog.” Before making their investment they purchased and installed the Shock-A-Dog along our boundary line shared with you. They then tested the system by placing […]
The cats and I have decided to go into the publishing business. I am to write stories and pay for the costs of publication, and they will contribute their business expertise. They propose that we be equal partners, one-third each. I suggest that we split the profits 50-50, half for me and half for them. […]
We decide to meet at a local café to discuss whether or not you should set up a trust. The cats have asked to come along as they are concerned about what would happen to them on my death. They heard of a cat being sent to the animal shelter after its owner died, and […]
I have told the cats that if they want to travel back up to the San Juan Islands to visit their retired friend, the old Tom, that they will have to earn some money to pay for the gas. They declare that they will earn the money by selling goods out of my retail store […]
I have opened a men’s specialty store, selling suspenders, cigar scissors, and other fashionable men’s items. I have hired the cats to work for me to keep the store free of mice. They immediately formed a union and demanded an hour off for lunch and two fifteen-minute breaks. Being afraid of a complaint to the […]
The cats have been roaming the neighborhood since they returned home from their trip to the San Juans where they visited their retired friend, an old Tom. I don’t know what went on up there, but I intend to find out. Ironically, you have moved in next door, with your Beagle, Bowser. You call me […]
After visiting their old friend, a battle-scarred Tom who retired to the San Juan Islands, the cats wanted to do some sightseeing. We visited the Butchart Gardens and then went to the Empress Hotel, where we had made a reservation for one night, but we forgot to make a dinner reservation. We went to the […]
The cats want to rent a convertible to go on vacation to the San Juan Islands to visit a retired friend of theirs, an old Tom with gray whiskers and missing some fur. We decide to use the refund that we received from our return of the play structure to rent a convertible for […]
We finally received a check from your insurance company for the damage to my car. The cats and I decide not to repair the car and instead to use the money to buy something that we want. I want a new pair of back country skis, and the cats want a play structure. I go […]
“I just came by to thank you for replacing my baseball cap,” you say, as I open the front door. “You’re welcome,” I reply. “We’re just about ready to leave for the coast.” At the mention of the word, “coast,” the cats pop up from the front passenger seat of my car and peer out […]
“Come in,” I say as I let you into the house. “I was afraid that you weren’t coming back.” “I just came to get my baseball cap,” you reply, as you step in and look warily around the room. “Where are your cats?” you ask. “They’re downstairs watching television,” I answer, indicating the open door […]
“Thanks for coming to our house,” I say. “You’re welcome,” you reply, as you sit on the couch next to Marlin, who has a bandaged paw from her encounter with an attractive nuisance on our last ski trip. She emits a low growl as your sitting on the couch causes her to bounce a little. […]
“How was your ski trip?” you ask. “It didn’t go well, “ I reply. “What happened?” “When we got off the slopes we went to the lodge, and there was an open fire pit with no screen or other protective device. The cats were cold from being outdoors, and they got too close to the […]
“Where have you been?” you ask. “I took my cats to the coast,” I reply. “That’s ridiculous,” you say. “Cats don’t like water.” “Mine do, “ I say. “They are very courageous and adventuresome.” “You’re always bragging about your cats,” you say, “and what does a trip to the coast have to do with an […]