By Renee Miereanu, M.C.Ht, M.NL.P. ©July, 2011
I was thinking about happiness the other day. I mean, I was really thinking about happiness and it seemed to me that it is a natural instinct for everyone to strive for happiness. To attain it most of us think if we keep looking for something to make us happy we will then be happy. Including looking for the right person, the right car, buy the right house, eat our favorite ice cream, have enough sex, etc. Certainly if our relationships are not going well, our financial situation is not optimal, our job is not serving us, or what ever we are not happy about, it seems that all these external things determine whether we are happy or unhappy. So, I asked myself this question, ‘Is that true?’
So, I thought about it a lot and came to the conclusion that when we rely on things external we are absolutely giving our power away. We tend to create happiness when persons, places and things are going well and unhappiness when they are not. Think of the power our significant other; friends or your parents have over us. If they say one little (or big) thing then our happiness evaporates away in seconds. Everyone who has important input into our lives seems to have huge control over us thus external forces determine our happiness. Not only people, but also random events like the economy changing, harsh weather or other occurrences that are completely outside of our internal control we usually create unhappiness.
I say, be happy for no reason. Just be happy. That is what unreasonable happiness is to choose to be happy in spite of it all.
Let your internal state be the part of you that determines your mood. You cannot control those external factors but you have huge input into your internal emotions, thoughts and feelings.
Happiness does not have to be a very high, high because when you experience that high, high; in reverse you may also have very low lows. As you look back in your life you might notice that this seesaw effect of high-highs and low-lows go together. Many of us love that intensity of being very high and then being very low. That’s called “drama addiction” but I’ll write about that at another time.
I knew someone who very consciously said, “I want to live with the intensity of life and not the mediocrity of a boring emotional landscape.” I say there is a place without very highs and very lows to choose being in an emotional middle ground. This place is without the great highs and lows that not a boring emotional landscape. There is place of peace and happiness. It may be time to choose safe and enjoyable adventures such as camping, sailing, skiing, boating, hiking, zip lines, lakes, and ocean beaches and maybe travel to unusual places. A great film, play, concert. Even though we do not consciously know it, we choose to create our emotions 100%. When we are aware of this fact, we are more stable and less likely to be knocked off balance by external forces. Consider not going for extreme emotional intensity but going for stability and lots and lots of fun in life.
I have spent time with Buddhist monks as well as Hindu teachers that have done twenty to thirty years or more of meditation practices. It seems like these people are rarely moved from states happiness because they are grounded and strong in themselves and in the consistent experiences of now moments. They have encountered the knowing that external circumstances do not shake them out the calm. Their lives are full of sincere, yet peaceful laughter and smiles and their joy just is. It just is a fact that cannot be disputed because there is stability in the eternal now moment. We all are capable of practicing joy no matter what is happening around us!
Be unreasonable happy, yes choose to be happy for no reason at all.
Why not practice this new way of thinking for yourself. Remind yourself to practice being un-reasonably happy in your now one-moment-at-a-time for 30 days. Then give me a call and let me know how your life has improved.
I will be teaching a course entitled “How To Enjoy Your Life In Spite Of It All” beginning Wednesday, September 14, 7:PM $17. for each two-hour evening. Seating limited so if you register early and get the first evening FREE! 541-778-4380