I walked into a long line at the post office and observed an intriguing argument. There was an older, disgruntled man, who was being chastised by a young man over something the disgruntled man said to a mother and child. It appeared the disgruntled man was frustrated with the long line and he said something that was offensive to a mother and child. Two other men in line stated outwardly they agreed with the young man, and this led the disgruntled man to challenge them all to a fight outside. He could not let go of being “wrong” after being called on his actions. He kept projecting his anger to the young man. He was trapped in his anger with no way out.
As a man when I make a mistake and I project my anger, there is no way out. I have to defend myself at all costs, right? “I can’t be wrong.” “I am right.” “It was his fault.” “He made me do this.” “If they would change.”
It was my 3-year-old daughter who taught me how ineffective this technique was, because it led to her needing to be “right”. I wanted to free her of this ineffective pattern, and this is why I started apologizing to her when I made a mistake. And admitted when I was wrong.
As a man it is so hard to let go, we have been domesticated to compete and be “right”. It literally hurts inside. It burns us up.
This is the clue how to end the cycle of being right. Learn to be comfortable with the burning sensation inside. Ask yourself, “Where do I feel this in my body?”
When anger arises, you know where you are not able to appropriately integrate your power.
What are you most angry about in life? Once you can find these areas of anger and you begin to feel the sensations within your body, you will begin to integrate your anger into inner power.
When anger arises, STOP. STOP. STOP. Feel, Feel, Feel. Ask, “Where is the anger in my body?” ” What does it feel like?” “Is it hot or cold?“ “Is it small or large?”
Then breathe in your nostrils silently the sound gam (pronounced gum) and exhale sauh (pronounced saw). This is not to stop you from feeling the anger. You are not trying to calm yourself. You are attempting to feel the anger and meet it. You want to digest it instead of projecting it out towards the world or repressing it. When you begin to meet your anger, you will have instant integrations of authentic inner power. Be patient with yourself and know it is a journey to meet anger.