You Know Youre From Oregon When……..

You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

You use the statement “sun break” and know what it means.

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the “Walk” signal.

You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima,
Willamette and Siskiyou.

You consider swimming an indoor sport.

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark—while only working eight–hour days.

You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

You are not fazed by “Today‘s forecast: showers followed by rain,” and
“Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showe
rs.”

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation

You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

You notice, “The mountain is out” when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

You measure distance in hours.

You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

“Vacation” means going to Portland for the weekend.

Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Bi-Mart store at any given time.

Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

You blame everything that’s not right on ex-Californians.

You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best Pale Ale.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.

You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a
crime–infested jungle
… OR …
You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white–bread suburb.

You know what is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.

You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.

A tree or mudslide has damaged your house or car.

You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.

You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You consider something a “hill” (not a mountain) if it doesn‘t have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.

You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.

You used to live somewhere else but won’t admit it publicly.

If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.

You’d be pissed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water.

Every day is casual Friday.

Hear the word “ferry” and think of boats and long waits.

Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for
Tektronix.

You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.

Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner’s policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides.

You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating
deaths.

Obey all traffic laws except “keep right unless passi
ng.”

Are amazed by an accurate weather forecast.

You think downtown is “scary” because you were panhandled there....once...

You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies, and The Ring were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.

You know where Astoria is.

You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off.

You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.

Were excited when the Crater lake, Oregon quarter came out.

You love The Shins...because they live here.

You love the Decemberists....because they are from here...and live here.

You love the smell of rain.

You are the only person in the line at the grocery store who asks for paper, not plastic (because while paper “kills trees” it is recyclable, and plastic bags will sit in our landfills for the next millennia).

You understand the joys of spandex as a layer under pants

You dress in layers (tank top, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, jacket, etc).

You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch.

You play Tony Hawks Pro Skater and recognize Burnside.

You are sad during Christmas because it never snows in the valley.

You know where the valley is.

You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.

You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.

You are aware that “The Shining” was filmed at Timberline Lodge.

You say “pop” instead of “
soda.

You smile at people you don’t know as you walk by them on the sidwalk.

You know you’re from oregon when people call you a hippy and you just smile because you can’t hear them over the grape–nuts.

You make subtle remarks about Washington drivers, but save your real road rage for California drivers.

You’ve witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown Portland like its no big deal.