Today, I have the privilege of speaking with Ali Davidson, a transformational life and career coach based in Ashland, Oregon. With over 28 years of experience, Ali specializes in guiding men and women through the aftermath of betrayal, helping them heal and rediscover their strength. Her book, Born of Betrayal: From Breakdown to Breakthrough, offers a raw and insightful look into her personal journey and the lessons she’s learned along the way. In our interview, we’ll explore the nature of betrayal, the path to healing, and how Ali empowers her clients to move forward.
Ali, your book Born of Betrayal delves deeply into your personal experiences. Can you share what inspired you to write this book and how your journey has shaped your approach to coaching?
My book is an Amazon International Bestseller, hitting #1 in Australia and #2 in England and the U.S. But what truly makes it resonate with readers isn’t the rankings—it’s the way I wrote it. I didn’t just tell my story. I invited the reader into my world, like a late-night conversation over tea, sharing the raw, unfiltered truth of my journey. I wrote it the way I lived it—one sleepless night at a time, working through the pain, searching for meaning, and slowly rebuilding my life.
One woman told me, “It felt like you were telling my story, using my words, speaking my pain.” Another, struggling to sleep through her own heartbreak, reached out and asked me to read it to her chapter by chapter, each night before bed. The power of those words helped her find peace.
For me, writing this book was its own form of therapy. I would write a chapter, then revisit what I had written before moving forward. That process helped me see my own progress, recognize the hidden lessons, and truly understand what happens when grief is finally resolved.
Betrayal can manifest in various forms. How do you define betrayal, and what are some common ways it impacts individuals?
I define betrayal as a broken agreement, promise, or expectation, spoken or unspoken. It’s not just about cheating. It can be as simple as a friend breaking confidence or as devastating as a spouse leading a double life.
Betrayal doesn’t only affect romantic relationships. I’ve heard people say:
“My best friend stabbed me in the back.”
“My boss screwed me when he didn’t give me the raise I was promised.”
“My own body betrayed me when I got sick.”
“My business partner ran off with the money”
Betrayal can show up in our careers, our friendships, even within our own self-worth. It destroys trust, and depending on the depth of the relationship, it can be a minor wound or leave deep, lasting trauma. In the most severe cases, betrayal symptoms mirror PTSD, some effects lasting for years.
In your practice, what are the initial steps you recommend for someone beginning their healing process after experiencing betrayal?
There are usually two pivotal times that a client will come to see me. Some will come immediately after the event. This is a time when they are overwhelmed, unable to eat, sleep, or function. With them it’s important to help them find emotional and mental safety, to reconnect with their inner strength, and lend them my belief in their own worthiness until they can believe it themselves.
Some come months, even years after the event. In this instant their pain isn’t as acute, but life feels empty.
They don’t trust anyone, and they’re stuck in a cycle of shame. I help them in 4 main ways:
– To accept what happened and their part in it (even if it’s minimal)
– To use courage and logic to create a new daily plan with concrete steps
– Teach them a new perspective on forgiveness so they can release the blame and shame
– Help them reconnect to their dreams—self-love, self-trust, hope for the future
One of my clients, John, was betrayed by his lifelong best friend in business. He lost everything; his company, savings, and faith in people. Through our work, he regained trust, rebuilt his sense of self, and even started a new company with trustworthy partners. It’s incredible to witness such transformations.
You’ve mentioned that you view individuals not as broken but as unresourceful. Can you elaborate on this perspective and explain how it influences your coaching methods?
I remember sitting across from a client in one of our first sessions. Tears streamed down her face as she whispered, “I’m so messed up. I’m so broken.” She had been through a painful divorce, lost confidence in herself, and felt like she was drowning in self-doubt.
She isn’t alone. So many people come to me believing they are flawed, damaged, or “beyond repair.” But here’s the truth: You are not broken. You do not need to be “fixed.” You have just lost connection with your resources and with who you are.
When we experience trauma, our brains go into survival mode. We can’t access the wisdom and resources we’ve gathered throughout our lives. It’s like our internal filing cabinet gets locked. But the information is still there. We just need to reconnect with it.
My client didn’t need fixing. She needed to remember who she truly was, and through our work, she did. She reclaimed her strength, confidence, and sense of purpose. She even went on to remarry a really nice man.
Trust is often shattered after betrayal. What strategies do you suggest for individuals working to rebuild trust in themselves and others?
Trust is one of the hardest things to rebuild, but it’s also the most powerful transformation. Beth came to me after a health crisis left her feeling betrayed by her own body. “I don’t trust my body anymore,” she said, feeling helpless, like a stranger in her own skin.
Rebuilding trust starts with faith, not guarantees. It’s about knowing that no matter what happens, we have the strength to navigate it.
Beth’s transformation wasn’t instant, but over time, she stopped seeing her body as an enemy and started treating it as a partner. She learned to listen to it, honor its needs, and rebuild trust within herself. As she did, her fear faded, and she began to thrive again.
Many people struggle with feeling stuck in their trauma stories. How do you assist clients in moving beyond these narratives to embrace a more empowering future?
Life is made up of stories: ones we cherish, ones we mourn, ones that shape us. We love telling them, reliving the highs and lows. But sometimes, we get trapped in a story that no longer serves us, especially when it’s a story of trauma.
When we stay stuck in a trauma story, we unknowingly abandon our most powerful, resourceful selves. Instead, we slip into one of three roles: the victim, who feels powerless; the villain, who blames and resents; or the hero, who tries to fix everything, often at their own expense. Each role keeps us locked in a cycle of pain, unable to move forward.
My work is about helping clients step back and see the role they’ve been playing in their story. What if the story wasn’t about suffering, but about resilience? What if, instead of being trapped in the past, they could rewrite the narrative?
By shifting the perspective, the story loses its grip. It no longer defines them, it empowers them. Because the truth is, they were never just a character in the story. They were always the author.
You’ve been counseling since 1997 and have worked with a diverse range of clients, including business professionals and couples. How has your approach evolved over the years, and what key lessons have you learned?
Like everyone, I am constantly growing, learning, and evolving. Every experience, whether personal, through my clients, or from ongoing education, shapes and deepens my practice. But the biggest transformation has been in my philosophy.
I no longer see the world in absolutes. No one and nothing is entirely good or bad. Life isn’t black and white, it’s a spectrum of experiences that shape who we become.
Life isn’t about morality… It’s about growth. From the moment we’re born, we’re learning, discovering, and evolving. That’s why life can feel difficult at times; it challenges us to grow beyond what we’ve known.
But living itself is easy; it’s the journey of becoming who we’re meant to be.
For those interested in your coaching services, workshops, or retreats, can you share more about what you offer and how individuals can get involved?
The best way to start is with my 30-minute complimentary consultation. This gives you a chance to get to know me, share your story, and see if we’re a good fit for working together. Even if you choose not to continue, I’ll offer you valuable tools to help you move forward.
You can schedule your consultation here:
https://calendly.com/bornofbetrayal/beyond-betrayal-breakthrough-session
And follow me on Facebook for updates on upcoming workshops and classes:
https://www.facebook.com/AliDavidsonCoaching/
You can also buy my book at Bloomsbury in Ashland or on Amazon. For some this is a great way to learn about me and to start the healing process.
Take advantage of this complimentary session, and let’s talk. I’d love to help you begin your journey toward healing and empowerment.
Through her compassionate and intuitive approach, Ali Davidson provides a safe space for individuals to explore their pain, discover their inner resources, and transform their lives. Her belief in seeing potential rather than brokenness empowers her clients to achieve healing and personal growth.
Learn More:
Ali Davidson Life Academy
508 N Main
www.alidavidsonlifeacademy.com
541-815-5281
