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How’s your sense of belonging?

We need to belong; it is fundamental to our health and wellbeing yet a recent poll showed that 79% of Americans are unable to identify more than 1 place where they experience a sense of belonging and 23% are unable to identify even one place.

As a professional helper, my daily work includes birth, death, marriage, divorce, and transitions of all kinds. We tend to forget that the monumental but “ordinary” things that happen in our lives can be the source of loneliness, isolation, or unexpected challenges… being vulnerable and needing help is often accompanied by shame or embarrassment which can then interfere with getting the help we need. Vicious cycle.

Compared to other cultures, people from the United States tend to manage more things on their own while simultaneously longing for more connection and support. The village we long for is made up of interdependence; of the small asks and gives that happen day to day between people we trust and depend on. To have more of this we must create it and this includes not just being willing to offer help but being willing to ask for it.

I believe that the remedy for most of what ails us is having a strong sense of belonging; knowing where we can give and receive both through the hard times and through the wondrous ones. The monthly Community Constellation event I offer is a powerful way to experience the joys of belonging. Yes, I still serve individuals, couples, and families as a mentor and guide in the privacy of my office, but do believe that doing our healing work together, in community, is a highly effective and supportive way to go– as well as being cost and time effective.

Having positive and inspiring experiences in a group setting reminds us we can ask for more and give more in all the places of belonging we are part of-home, school, even your book group or gym. I welcome you into this safe and powerful circle for a day of good work, hard work, honest work among other thoughtful, tender, and caring humans. I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter on my website alexisalma.com if you’d like to hear more from me or follow what I am offering – and you can of course find me on social media at @school_of_the_new_work.

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