Wouldn’t it be great if there was a car that could totally relieve us of foreign oil dependence? How about a car that would rid us of any petroleum dependence at all? Yeah, I know what you are thinking electric cars are already the answer. Well, who wants to plug their car into an electric outlet ever
y time they drive more than ten miles? You argue that it only cost pennies to recharge it but what the hell are we going do we do with all those worn out battery packs? There is no more room to bury them in our landfills as they are already full of plastic grocery bags and water bottles. Well what about hydrogen you quip. I retort remember the Hindenburg! Alas my few loyal readers, take comfort in knowing that there is an automotive company that has made such a technological breakthrough that not only is it going to change automotive industry forever, it will make “dino” fuels a thing of the past. The really cool thing is they are making plans to build a factory right here in Ashland.
The current CEO, Dick Savegas, is being tight-lipped about the technology but from what I understand it is a cross between molecular plasti-fission and waste decomposition. Mister Savegas claims the car can operate on two cents per mile. He also claims that it can regenerate power with gravity induced operation adding that solar and wind energy reclamation will be an added benefit. Very exciting stuff! Dick sent some pictures of the “test mule” they are using and it is very reminiscent of the car used in the National Lampoon “Vacation” movies. I am sure Chevy Chase would be proud to know his old movie car was being put to good use as the ultimate “green” car. I asked Dick why they chose this car as a proof of concept and he answered “what better way to prove a break-through technology then using a known uneconomical gas guzzler from the eighties”. Perfect!
It is nice to know that there are forward thinkers out there who can think outside of the proverbial petroleum box. It is a win-win-win situation for the builder, consumer, and environment.
If you see the station wagon cruising around Ashland’s city streets testing these new technologies be sure to give the driver the high peace sign for support. The sooner the testing is done, the sooner regular folks like you and I will be driving this new fuel miser of a car. I asked Dick if he has future plans after this project comes to fruition. He told me with excitement in his voice the next project will include chemtrail fallout reclamation that will be converted into automotive fuels. Brilliant!
PS: APRIL FOOLS!